Thursday, January 19th, 2023
Have you ever felt confused, sad or anxious after moving to Canada?
Or maybe the opposite? You have felt euphoric and robust like you have the world at your feet?
It is quite common. You may be experiencing culture shock.
Culture shock is a feeling that may range from joyous elation and being in love with the new country and its people, through confusion and slight discomfort, to complete anguish and severe homesickness. Many people experience it when they permanently immigrate to a new country, when they retire or move for work abroad or even when they temporarily relocate to a different region of the country. Some people are more prone to culture shock than others. It depends on their immigrant experience, sensitivity and adaptability to new circumstances.
There are four stages of culture shock: the honeymoon stage, the frustration stage, the adaptation stage and the acceptance stage.
The Honeymoon Stage.
If you are in a honeymoon stage, you are infatuated with the new country, its culture and people. You see everything through the proverbial ‘pink glasses.’ Everything is miraculous and enjoyable. You are anxious to learn bits and pieces about the new culture, you throw yourself into the vortex of exciting events and you can’t wait to meet new people. You make new acquaintances at the speed of light.
The Frustration Stage.
As the feeling of excitement wears off, you may become disoriented and irritated by the new culture. At this stage, you often become fatigued with the overwhelming differences between the host and homeland culture. You may also misunderstand people’s actions, conversations and customs, and feel out of place, which can lead to frustration and anger. Some symptoms of this stage of culture shock include:
- Extreme tiredness
- Irritability
- Homesickness
- Confusion
- Depression
The Adaptation Stage.
In this stage your well-being starts to improve. You become accustomed to the new culture and you even start to adopt some of its customs like getting that ‘delish’ latte first thing in the morning. You begin to come to terms with the fact that not all aspects of the new life are perfect. You notice that there are some awesome bits in it. You may still not understand all the social cues, but ‘fitting in’ becomes more natural. You feel that with a little work and a little more time, you may feel at home here.
The Acceptance Stage.
You are more relaxed in the new culture. You understand the social behaviours much better. Your joy of life as well as sense of humour return and you are able to perceive more pluses of the new culture and use them to your advantage. Your life’s deficiencies do not send you into depths of despair any more. You are stronger and better equipped to deal with the obstacles that come your way. You are now comfortably settled in your environment and start making long-term plans for your future here.
It is also natural to experience setbacks where you go straight back to frustration stage after you have thought you have already adapted to or even accepted the new culture. It is not always a straight line, and it is okay.
So, how was it with me?
I definitely experienced culture shock.
After a really short honeymoon stage, where I enjoyed everything from the many green spaces to the relaxed way of being in Canada, I went into a really long frustration stage. I felt extremely homesick. I missed New York, its smells, the cacophony of honking horns, police sirens and rowdy pedestrians, the restaurants, where I knew the menus by heart, its manic energy. I felt the absence of my friends and family. On top of everything, I couldn’t find a job, the money was short, and I was stuck at home all day with a small child. I felt out of my element. I was used to setting my goals high and always overachieving. I drove myself crazy with constant self-demands. On top of everything, people around me seemed cold and distant. I was afraid this dreadful feeling would never go away.
But it did with time. A lot of time…, but still. After several gruelling years, I finally found a job that I enjoy and that brings value to others. I enjoy myself in my free time. I read, I cook, I walk. I keep myself busy and motivated, but not too busy.
I took up yoga. I do not concentrate so much on the future any more, but rather on the present moment. I stopped setting unachievable goals for myself. The relaxed way of being suits me much better. I now understand that life is a journey and it is good to enjoy it. Above all, I make time for relationships. I met some new people whose company I relish and that is what makes all the difference in the world. The world is brighter with my kind of people in it.
How are you adapting to your new life in Canada? Which stage of culture shock are you in?