What is small talk?
Small talk is a short conversation about unimportant topics you have with people you hardly know during those short meetings when you wait for the elevator, in the elevator, during coffee break, at lunch room or at work meetings. Small talk is rather informal and polite. It is a social skill that is necessary anywhere where you deal with people.
Why do we have to make small talk?
The purpose of small talk is to connect with other people, get to know them a little better and to fill an empty silence that is often there between people who don’t know each other very well and have to work together. It is to strengthen and unify the team, so that work is easier, more pleasant and more fruitful.
You can think: ‘Oh, what can such small conversations do?’ but small talk often leads to big conversations and builds a team little by little. Actually, those little conversations frequently start friendships as well. I like to compare small talk to stones. Stones by themselves do not form any particular structure, but when you put them together, they can form a road, a house or a wall. Similarly, those little conversations add up to form bigger conversations. As you chit-chat with your coworkers on the job day by day, you discover what kind of people they are, get a glimpse into their life, their experiences and their stories. Small talk makes our work life more fun and often leads to deep, life-long friendships.
How to make small talk on the job?
People, especially introverts, often dread small talk, but as with any other skill, you can practice it and get better at it.
Step one: greet your co-worker and introduce yourself (if they don’t know you already)
This first step is fairly simple. Greet your coworker with a casual ‘Good morning,’ ‘Hello,’ or ‘Hi.’ If you haven’t been introduced, tell them your name followed by ‘Nice to meet you’ or ‘Pleasure.’ If they introduce themselves first, you can say ‘It is a pleasure to meet you, ___________,’ and repeat their name (to remember it).
Step two: tell them something about yourself
It doesn’t have to be anything personal. You can simply say what brought you into this situation. For example , you can say: ‘I’m here because I will be working on the new project for the company and I’m looking forward to learning more about it.’ If you are new at the company, you can simply say: ” I am new here and I am very excited to be a part of this team.’
Step three: Ask an open-ended question that is easy to answer:
You can either ask them a work-related question or a more personal one. An example of a work-related one is: ‘What brought you to this line of work?’ or ‘How did you get involved in this project?’ If you’d rather discuss topics unrelated to the job, you can ask: ‘Do you have any trips coming up this summer/winter?’
Step four: Direct the conversation to current events:
It is best not to discuss politics and religion when having small talk, but you can choose a piece of information about a sports team or recent event that the other person is likely to know about. You can find easy topics on The Week.
Best topics for small talk
Weather
Weather, especially Canadian weather, provides ample opportunities for small talk. You can comment on what the weather is like and how you feel about it.
Current events
While you should steer away from politics, current events may provide a great opportunity for small talk as long as they are not too controversial and you can find some common ground with your coworker. Sporting events, city festivals, concerts or any events you are excited about can be great small talk starters.
Food
Food is almost a universal conversation starter. No matter the culture, people love talking about food. You can share recipes, talk about good restaurants in town or simply share lunches, time allowing. A nice potluck lunch may connect people who work together.
Hobbies
Talking about hobbies is a great way to get to know a person a bit more and learn about their interests and quirks. Who knows? Maybe you even share a hobby!
Compliments
Who doesn’t like to receive compliments? You can praise your coworker’s new hairstyle, suit or jewellery, or ask them for an outfit recommendation or their hairstylist’s phone number. You should avoid commenting on anything that the other person might feel self-conscious about. Saying something like: ‘I see you have lost a lot of weight. You look great’ may not be the best idea.
Family
Generally speaking, asking about a person’s marital status or whether or not they are planning to have children is a no-no. However, if you know the person a little bit and you know s/he has kids, you can start out by talking about your kids and ask a question about theirs. As time goes by, you may share little bits and pieces about your family and learn about theirs.
Vacation
Talking about summer plans or upcoming holidays is one of the most pleasant topics you can converse about. People get excited talking about their vacation plans or the great time they have had during summer or winter gateways.
Work
If there is nothing else that comes to your mind, you can always talk about what you are currently working on at work, ask their advice on solutions or best practices and share your tips on how to improve that job performance or satisfy a cranky client. Just keep in mind, there should be absolutely no badmouthing involved.
Happy small talking!